Pandemics, Random Thoughts and Handshakes

So this swine flew epidemic is something that the entire world is concerned about. Its good to see the concern and actions taken by international governments to defend their citizens, prepare them and reassure them that there is something to worry about but its not an ALARM situation.

I heard on the radio yesterday morning that Israeli officials have decided to ban the use of the term "Swine" flu. The Jewish religion considers pigs to be taboo. So rather than use an offensive term, they will call the Swine flu, the Mexican flu.

Is it just me, or is that just as offensive sounding? Granted, I get it. The flu originated in Mexico, therefore it is Mexican. However their reasons to change Swine to Mexican speaks otherwise.

Just an observation.

The last 3 days the temperature has been in the high 80's and 90's. Not common end of April weather. It was nice, but now its 60's and feels cold.

Went clamming yesterday. Probably the most fun I've had getting dirty in a long time. Plus I hung out with a good friend and made homemade new england "chowdah" yum.

In my last post I had mentioned my pet peeve of hand shakes.

I'm one of those people that make a judgment of what kind of person you are within a couple of minutes. I'm not talking about making fun of someone or having some sort of prejudice toward certain people. Basically, I'm really good at reading body language and intent. I think that's a trait I have inherited from my dad. He was a great people person, and a great salesman. He actually cared about his clients and wanted to serve them they way they deserved.

You know how a handshake is suppose to feel. Confident, not too tight, not too loose, just right. You don't want your hand to be crushed but the handshake has become a sign of respect and standing.

Then, there is the fish handshake. Loosy goosey. In fact, sometimes I've gotten the heeby jeebies from a bad handshake. It makes me wonder if they actually care or respect me. In my past I've gotten a couple bad handshakes, and my instinct about how nice that person was (or WASN"T) ended up showing it's truth.

Or, the bone crushing shake of a person with MUCH bigger hand. All you can focus on the entire time your hand is in there, is how much it hurts and when will it stop. Trying to make a business deal, or get a job? Better keep a big smile on your face and nurse your wounds later.

So, keep in mind that people remember your handshake. They may not remember your outfit or what your hair looked like, especially if you gave a bad handshake.

A moment

So I had one of those lovely ah-ha moments today. Except rather than make me feel smarter, it kind of, well, made me feel like a moron.

So a couple weeks ago I applied for a paralegal position in prov. Not the most ideal job that I would look for. Not bad either. I just figured that with my new found spark of interest in law; trying something law like would show me whether or not it was a good idea. So I applied. The detailed description said 50k a year. That's incentive...

How 10 years old of me. "WOW that's a lot of moola...i want to be that!"

I applied. Using this thing called applejobs. Mainly a database for employers to use, to kind of filter out those that don't have what it takes.

They took my info. I got harassed by Univ. of Phoenix for a week and reference forms went out to those individuals I listed. Sweet.

Then I heard nothing. Absolutely nothing. Slightly battered, I moved on and might have potentially found a good starter dream job.

But today I found my assumptions to be false. For whatever reason, while checking my email I saw that my "Spam" folder was quite full. I checked it. Inside were 7 or 8 inquiries for information. From law firms. Looking for paralegals...

Had I almost lost an opportunity? Yes.

Did I possibly save that chance? Maybe.

One person had sent two emails. The initial and then a follow up, informing me, Tia, that they were still interested. Was I?

Maybe..

About 10,000 thoughts started racing through my head. Competitive salary...great benefits...tuition reimbursement(big plus in my mind)....a job....a real job..

Paralegal....lawyer slave...(ok not really, but really)...intense job outside of my immediate experience.

i know I could do it, sounds interesting. Why not?

So i responded to the inquiry message, resent my resume. Now just to wait.

Now, had I just checked my Spam mail a week ago... I geuss the lesson learned is to check; always to check.

Current job situation is hairy. Monday was a surprise lay off. 18 people were let go, their positions eliminated, their lives changed. They were all really good people, who had been there a long time. Gone.

Including my supervisor.

Today I went and met with "the big guy". My new supervisor. I have had interactions with D before. Never unpleasant. This time was suprisingly good. I was nervous going in. Afraid that the words "the program has been eliminated" would come at me. I felt like a small little mouse headed into a lions den.

However, with short stories and lots of good conversation, my program survives. And possibly more good will come out of this than I had originally anticipated.

Sigh.

Also, I told him. I told him that I have had job opportunities presented to me. He seemed understanding. Even gave me a great handshake to congratulate my upcoming graduation. (I will have to write a post about my stigma of handshakes)

Maybe my leaving won't be so difficult. Maybe I can move on to the next phase of my life without tripping.

School is almost done. I have to figure out how to write 2 papers, a 13 page and an 8 page before Tuesday. I shouldn't of procrastinated.

However, if I hadn't it would have ruined my 4 year groove.

7 more class sessions. 2 1/2 more days.

1 exam. 2 papers. 1 assignment. 2 quizes.
And i'm done.


Woah baby.


And when I have a big girl job..I want this little beauty.

Inspiration

I was in the gym...pedaling away on the bike after a rousing 20 minutes on the elliptical.

After about 15 minutes of pedaling to no-where, I looked across the gym and saw this older man, probably in his mid/late 70's, lifting weights in front of the mirror.


If he can do it. I sure can.

Maybe this "reinventing" is really working.

Best Part of Waking Up

I've always really loved where I grew up and still live. The house has been the only place I have known, my neighborhood was AWESOME growing up and overall the cow-town vibe has suited me.

We are not really cow-town, just some people I go to school with seem to think so.
Is it really my fault that it takes them 45 minutes to travel the length of their state. And they never leave it?

Yes, it takes more than 5 minutes to get the a grocery store.

Yes, there are only about 6 stoplights, 1 DD's, 1 McDonald's, a couple restaurants, a couple bars, a small grocery, couple gas stations, etc. You get my drift.

The good parts-low crime, decent schools, lots of friends.

I suppose I can get over driving 10 minutes to get dinner ingredients. In fact I kind of like it.

When I first went to School in Providence it took me a long time to get use to the noise. Sleeping I would constantly be interrupted by sirens, garbage trucks, cars honking. Street lights were a novel thing for me. And my campus is on the outside of downtown. I can't imagine living in downtown. That would have been an adjustment.

I got use to it. Dorm life does that to you.

But I must say, falling asleep to the sounds of crickets and peepers and waking to the sound of birds is great.

This morning?

I was lucky enough to hear the National Anthem played from the local Sub-base. It's a sound I've heard frequently in the morning, and taps I hear at night. Reminding me to relax

"The day is done" and I'm home.

Not sure what I'm going to do if I get the job in Providence. Obviously, move up eventually. But I know I'll miss the charm of the Ferry..

Busy day. More later.

Here I am

So. First blog post.

I feel this is very similar to a job interview. Somehow I must convince myself it's worth writing here on a semi-regular basis. Mostly I need to convince anyone who reads this to come back and read again.

I could bore you all with the about me, however, I will be elusive and leave you all guessing. If you come back again you'll learn more. Instead I will share some other information

Why am I here?

In a sudden burst of inspiration after reading some other peoples very stellar blogs, I decided that quite possibly my life was blog worthy.

But Why?

I'll be graduating college in something like 25 days. That's a little more than 3 weeks. The idea is sending shivers of anticipation and fear up and down my spine. I need to find a job, a purpose, a niche, if you will. My life has been dictated by the scholastic calender for the last 17 years of my life. September-May/June meant school. Classes, papers, readings and projects. I never had to question what my next step was going to be. Until now. May 16 marks the end of my undergraduate career, end of that annoying but extremely comforting schedule that has lulled my fear of change for 17 years. Well the cradles fallen from the tree, and now I'm on my own.

I must say that this new feeling of fear and excitement is intriguing. I've got a potential job opportunity that I'm waiting to apply for, yet I haven't actually applied. I've begun to lay a lot of faith into a job that I haven't even interviewed for. Why?

It feels right. I get this overwhelming sense of composure when I think about it. It's exactly what I want to do. My current job has drowned out my sense of creativity and motivation in a way that has belittled the accomplishments I have achieved. I'll have two degrees in 25 days. The potential job actually utilizes one of them. In a new and exciting fashion, one that allows room for growth and learning. Something I have lacked outside of my academic self for quite some time.

Don't get me wrong. The last 6 years at the current job have been wonderful. I've made great friends, gained confidence in myself and received many experiences that could only benefit me as a person. My need to leave lies in the fact that I have begun to feel stifled. I have also started to harbor bitter feelings toward a place that has always given me strength and solace; even when I felt the world was against me.

Sometimes it's better to walk away, before you'd rather run.

So I guess that's it for now. There are a lot of changes in my life yet I'm attempting to grab them and relish in the experience. The road will be rough, but I know I can do it.

I'm taking control over my own destiny.

Hence the blogs title. Emily Dickinson summed it up well. It's better to be the hammer than to be the anvil. Be the striking force in life. Don't be the one to be hit.