Here I am

So. First blog post.

I feel this is very similar to a job interview. Somehow I must convince myself it's worth writing here on a semi-regular basis. Mostly I need to convince anyone who reads this to come back and read again.

I could bore you all with the about me, however, I will be elusive and leave you all guessing. If you come back again you'll learn more. Instead I will share some other information

Why am I here?

In a sudden burst of inspiration after reading some other peoples very stellar blogs, I decided that quite possibly my life was blog worthy.

But Why?

I'll be graduating college in something like 25 days. That's a little more than 3 weeks. The idea is sending shivers of anticipation and fear up and down my spine. I need to find a job, a purpose, a niche, if you will. My life has been dictated by the scholastic calender for the last 17 years of my life. September-May/June meant school. Classes, papers, readings and projects. I never had to question what my next step was going to be. Until now. May 16 marks the end of my undergraduate career, end of that annoying but extremely comforting schedule that has lulled my fear of change for 17 years. Well the cradles fallen from the tree, and now I'm on my own.

I must say that this new feeling of fear and excitement is intriguing. I've got a potential job opportunity that I'm waiting to apply for, yet I haven't actually applied. I've begun to lay a lot of faith into a job that I haven't even interviewed for. Why?

It feels right. I get this overwhelming sense of composure when I think about it. It's exactly what I want to do. My current job has drowned out my sense of creativity and motivation in a way that has belittled the accomplishments I have achieved. I'll have two degrees in 25 days. The potential job actually utilizes one of them. In a new and exciting fashion, one that allows room for growth and learning. Something I have lacked outside of my academic self for quite some time.

Don't get me wrong. The last 6 years at the current job have been wonderful. I've made great friends, gained confidence in myself and received many experiences that could only benefit me as a person. My need to leave lies in the fact that I have begun to feel stifled. I have also started to harbor bitter feelings toward a place that has always given me strength and solace; even when I felt the world was against me.

Sometimes it's better to walk away, before you'd rather run.

So I guess that's it for now. There are a lot of changes in my life yet I'm attempting to grab them and relish in the experience. The road will be rough, but I know I can do it.

I'm taking control over my own destiny.

Hence the blogs title. Emily Dickinson summed it up well. It's better to be the hammer than to be the anvil. Be the striking force in life. Don't be the one to be hit.